Went to a gig tonight and we got to thinking what alternative lyrics the Killers went through before they came up with the ever memorable “I’ve got soul, but I’m not a soldier…”

Suggestions:

I’ve got to bowl, but I’m not a boulder
I’ve got Lou, but I’m not a loser
I’ve got a boil, but I’m not a boiler
I’ve got a foal, but I’m not a folder

Any more for any more?