Inspired by being made to listen to loads of Raggaton by Damo in Cuba (which I quite enjoyed) I’ve tried to write a rap rendition of our holiday. I will never perform this, so don’t ask, but you can feel free to make a recording if you’re so inclined. More interesting and articulate impressions of Cuba will follow.

Even though, Damo took a head blow
Even so, Damo lost his passpo’
And yet we made it to Havana
To have a week of resting and relax, ya

Quoting, Borat & Talledega
Making Ricky Bobby eat his shame, yeah
Matt to the T, R to the B, D & A to the O
We had a tonne, a tonne of mojitos

From Havana, to the slums of Varadero
A crappy all-inclusive Soviet hole on the north coast
Trippin’ on el ron, pollo y muro arroz
We made it to el casa palladeros

From the 50s Tryp Habana Libre
We were somewhere more hospitable, yay
Spanish casa, with very high ceilings
And many hosts with very dodgy dealings

Venison? Cigars? Anything you want
They offered and then delivered on that
We took it, took it ran
Took in in a Lada, and made it on the Lam

And of course, we went to see the dancers
At the awesome Casa de la Musica
All the girls, who tried to get our money
But we steered well clear of those honeys

As for culture, we did some of that
Museum of Revolucion, Havana Club Bar is where its at
Meeting foreign Tourists, drinks at Ambos Mundos
Chatting over even more mojitos

…and that’s all. I’m thinking this may not make sense to anyone but Matt, Damo and Ricky Bobby, so hope you guys at least enjoy. It is a lot harder to rap when you can’t just make words end in -ito, -ero, – asa, etc. I need to learn Spanish!