Whilst I can currently afford a slightly cramped shoebox in the London environs, I have started to look around. Circumstances, y’know.

Interesting reading through the code once again:

“Well proportioned” == tiny.
“Delightful” == shit.
“Light and airy” == small, dark and cramped. Has a window, somewhere.
“…moments from the amenities of…” Miles. From. Everything.
“…on a popular residential road…” Miles. From. Everything.
“Well located…” == located, if not on, then adjacent to a busy railway track and/or motorway.

Cynical? Moi?

Can’t believe Foxton’s are still doing well after that BBC thing…

Last night’s dream was a doozy (I believe that’s the term).

First, I was a doctor, and I got to use such choice phrases as:

“I’m a doctor, damnit!”

Then, inexplicably, I was amongst the legions of Rome – all of whom sleep outdoors in bunks very similar to the bed I had at school. Who knew? As I pulled my imperial toga from the suiter case I had hanging in my cupboard at the end of the bed (I wasn’t a soldier, no kilts for me, only manly togas with teal trim) — I received the summons. Julius wanted to see me.

“Crap,” thought my dream-self, “now I’m in for it.”

See! I told you it was a doozy! Bet you wish you had dreams this interesting. You do? I’m crazy? Shut up!

Suffering slightly from too many projects at the moment. Simultaneously trying to manage:

novel (woeful progress)
birthday planning (some progress)
songwriting (woeful progress – although I know how I’m going to start writing the next one)
weekend planning (woeful progress)
health programme (some progress)
rejuvenation of music collection (some progress)
secret project (some limited progress)
blogging here (some trivial posts)
house-hunting x2 (no progress)
spontaneous, 24×7 punning (limited progress)
fantasy football (teams doing badly)
reading (stack of books piled high, unread)
global domination (woeful progress)

Durn. I need a holiday from myself. Oh oh yes – forgot the main one:

job (busy)

You better believe it! My favourite sister turns [age omitted in case she’s started to be sensitive about it] today and we’re celebrating later on with a small group and a nice restaurant – the two things you need.

Sheila’s been hyping it for weeks. I’m glad its finally here ;)

Happy birthday Sister — don’t let it go to your head!

Email your wishes to sheila [at] thisdomainname.co.uk (actual address hidden for spambot protection), or leave them in the comments.

Last night’s dream: I was in NYC, riding uptown on the bonnet of a yellow cab. Of course, first Arvind and I had had to stop the cab by using our ethnic Indianness – the taxi driver didn’t speak English and was inclined to take us on as a consequence. Of course, we don’t speak Hindi either so used the one phrase I had (which in my dream I thought meant something like ‘how are you doing’, but in the real world means ‘thank you’) and then somehow ended up on the bonnet flying up 5th Avenue at speed.

Which was, needless to say, weird.

Cousin David’s returned to the South, leaving the flat very quiet. Sheila and I were sat around yesterday, and nobody once told us to “chillax,” which was very sad indeed.

David’s been a great presence in the month he’s been here; boundless in his enthusiasm to acquire a career in film-making, and creative in his use of the English language. We’ll miss him, though no doubt see him quite soon…

If I use the phrases “chillax,” “big-time,” and “that’s what I’m talking about,” more than might seem strictly speaking necessary in the next few weeks, it’s both because I think they’re good and amusing phrases, and they serve as a tribute to my Cousin.

That’s what I’m talking about.