I’ve recently been accepted to membership at Soho House, a belated birthday present from my parents. The youth (Under 27) membership is good value and I’m looking forward to making use of the free screenings I’m entitled to, amongst other things.

I’d like to share, though, the ’25 words about myself’ that helped me obtain said membership. It’s not against the club by-laws to publish these (I’ve checked) and I think they were inspired. Of course, I didn’t write them: I really dislike those self-reflective, inane personality profiles. I wrote to a few friends and asked them how they’d describe me in 25 words. Matt, of course, wrote an expletive down 25 times, but Rach was inspired. She had three drafts for me, of which I chose:

Armand is much like David Hasselhoff. He’s not cool now, but he may be in 25 years. In Germany, anyway

There you have it. Me in the proverbial nutshell.